reality hit me hard.

Ok... I just turned 25, and reality sucks. Im single, lonely, and just not as happy as I "thought" I was. I just recently lost my job and have been applying everywhere else.

Ive been thinking alot....shouldn't I be out of the house already, in an apartment with somebody that loves me? And a car that actually works. Im getting older alot faster and not getting younger. I thought id already at least been engaged or married and starting a family at this age. well...so much for that. I think im down alot more on myself when im not working, cause im thinking about everything all day long. Ive been getting into fashion ALOT more and focusing on that...if i at least look good thats all that matters...right? NOPE. I thought maybe it would give me more self-confidence. But its really making me broke hahaha. not cool. I know I need to focus on that job and just get my life going. But a big part of me needs that acceptance from somebody else. i need the hand holding and the kisses and all that other stuff. Thats what every girl wants. Im sick of dating sites, and people not showing up for my dates. Blind dates are so bad too. Blah. All, ok MOST guys just want sex....Im sorry but im not a piece of meat. If u want that go to the damn corner and go get ur stds. IDGF. Why is it so hard to find somebody?? It also really sucks when you still miss and love somebody really bad, but cant do anything about it. well....I really really miss somebody. He always can make me smile, Im crying just thinking about him. Sometimes i wish i lived in LA. Well thats my update..I know that nobody reads this anyways.

lov.

First words.

Its petty much 1am in the morning. I tryed to reformat my laptop but didn't work...not surprised there..knowing me, id like to throw it out the window haha, but im not.
Anyways about my life, im almost 24 ys old, I live in cali and i have a great boyfriend. We have been going out since July 1st 2009, he asked me out in Vegas...that was the best night ever, i was the happiest girl in the world. His name is Chris.
But long distance relationships really suck, we get to maybe see each other once a month. Its not the the easiest thing to do ill tell you that , but im going to do whatever i can to make this work, and i really hope he does to. He knows that i love him and he means the world to me.
We live 2hrs away from each other, if i had a car that actually works, id be up there every weekend.
His birthday is coming up soon, and i want him to have the BEST birthday ever, what should i do....? so many things i have in mind, but knowing Chris i can make spaghetti and hed be the happest guy..only cause i was there.

lov.